Format: Wii
Release: Out now
Publisher: EA
Developer: EA Montreal

In reviewing Spore we remarked, “Those waiting for someone to distil [it] into a few simple words need only look at its initial platforms: PC, Mac, Nintendo DS, mobile and iPhone.” A game caught between the eternal and the ephemeral, simulation and nature, Spore remains an enigma – not quite what it should have been, even though we’re not sure what it should have been. To that list of platforms now add the Wii with Spore Hero, which puts a new and very particular spin on the series. EA is repositioning Spore as a children’s product, and what’s more it’ll probably work.

The possibilities of Spore’s creature creator were truly open-ended, meaning you were as likely to end up with a creepy snaggletoothed bumslug as a fluffy little thingykin. No more. Spore Hero has its own creature creator but here the options are fewer and the changes are subtle – eyes a little wider, edges a little more rounded, bodies a little bouncier. Spore Hero has its own spinoff flash game that makes all of this quite clear. It’s an understandable, but unmistakeable, concession.

This softening is symptomatic. After a few minutes, our bipedal lump, Sarlaac mouth on underside, evil eyes on top, came to life looking like he’d just jumped out of a blister pack. Nevertheless we named him DEATHFUDGE, coloured his flanks a fetching dayglo orange, and off he went to save the world. One of his very first tasks, however, was to dance with a lady. Expecting a good mating, we managed a flawless QTE with our sweaty palms, only for the female in question to tell us about her boyfriend. Then we got in a fight, won easily by repeating the same moves, and to top up our health hunted down and eviscerated some fruit. The old survival of the fittest mechanic probably had to be circumvented somehow, but did it really have to be replaced with uninspired parroting of platformer clichés? Our notebook contains the line “this is nature beige in tooth and claw” but the truth is there’s little of nature left here at all: this is a Spore-themed platformer rather than a Spore platformer.

And as a Spore-themed platformer? The number of ideas it brings to the genre can be summed up in the name of its tutorial area: the Mushroom Valley. The structure is a largely non-threatening overworld full of minigame opportunities for fighting, dancing, singing and obstacle courses. The fighting system is simplistic and is ruined when your little lump learns the diving attack – you can tease enemies into charging and leaving themselves open to a counter ad infinitum. Dancing and singing are unremarkable in every way. And the obstacle courses are the worst of the lot, very quickly becoming so hard you’ll find yourself repeating the same section over and over again. There’s the germ of an idea in tying progression to your evolution, but this boils down to a powering up process (longer jumps, flying, swimming) any gamer already knows.

The gaudy colours, handholding and clunky fetchquest script make abundantly clear that this is a children’s game. So are children really incapable of learning about the wonders the original Spore touched upon? Spore Hero’s response seems to be to talk down to them, instead. How sad that a concept about the unfathomable wonders of life, evolution, and the universe has boiled down here to pandering to the lowest common denominator. Spore Hero may well be successful in repositioning the brand, and pulling from its universe a legion of similar games, action figures and cartoons. The surreal edge of its art style practically begs for a Saturday morning slot. And when that’s achieved, we can add that to the platform list, too. But it’s hard not to be disappointed that one of gaming’s true visions – of life’s multiplicity and constantly changing nature – should end up broadening itself by slumping into a worn groove of genre pieces and business dogma. [4]